Announcer: Last on Sledge Hammer!...
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Announcer: The following season of Sledge Hammer! takes place five years before that nuclear explosion. Thank you.
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Smartikoff: Ultimately, man and TV will combine to form a newer, higher being. Yes, a super race! Smarter, brighter, new and improved. And it will all start here with those who watch it. Yes, the rulers of tomorrow sit in front of the TV today.
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Hammer: Yeah, well don't confess. (slams door after Raker enters) Let me beat it out of you.
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Hammer image: (talking to Hammer) Well, Sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-sledge-a-roo. This is a fine mess you've gotten us into.
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Hammer: Alright, pigskin. But just remember you're still suspecto numero uno. Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you. That's police talk. Now get out.
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Hammer: Now you've gone and done it. You just broke a family heirloom. That lamp had great sentimental value. It accidentally electricuted my grandfather.
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Hammer: ... a mind is a terrible thing to waste somebody with.
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Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
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Doreau: Sledge, give it a break.
Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
[36 KB WAV file] [context in Vertical]

Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
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Blates: I'll tell you. I haven't seen anything like this in my twelve years as a coroner.
Doreau: I haven't seen anything like this in my six years as a cop.
Hammer: I haven't seen anything like this in forty-nine years as a man.
Doreau: Sledge, you're only 40.
Hammer: I was a man nine years before I was born, Doreau.
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Hammer: Sorry, Doreau. I don't scare that easily.
Trunk: (entering the common area from his office) Oh, Hammer! (smiling)
Hammer: Yeah.
Trunk: Did you get the message?
Hammer: What?
Trunk: Your ex-wife called -- said last month's alimony check got lost. You're going to have to send her another one. (laughing)
Hammer: AHHHHHH!!
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Hammer: Tell me why your father's director and co-star are dead. And tell me why every schmoe in town has seen the old man roaming the streets like some sort of boogie-man. Tell me that, Ms. Lagarsky!
Ms. Lagarski: I have no idea what you are talking about.
Hammer: Neither do I.
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Hammeroid: I have the power of 500 locomotives. (stomps foot, building shakes, people scream) Guaranteed 6.2 on the Richter scale every time.
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Hammeroid: But, I have AM and FM radio. (pushes button on his center console to play loud music)
Trunk: Enough, Hammer. I don't want a walking entertainment center. I want something that's going to stop BORC!
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Hammeroid: Trust me. I am cognizant of what I am doing.
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Hammer: Now, the way I figure it. The reason that the old man kept this floozy on the side was because his wife was a real bow-wow -- I mean, a doggie.
Trunk: Hammer.
Hammer: You know, sir, the kind of whining, and the nagging kind of mousy type. Anyway, so she finds out about the bimbo, and -- kaboom! -- she blows up the husband.
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Doreau: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Hammer: I don't know. I'm thinking of invading Afghanistan by myself. What are you thinking?
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Hammer: Yeah. No, that's... that's good. So, what's your big plan, Monsieur?
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Hammer: You know what I say to that? I say "HA!". Me? Jealous of that doughnut-hole? In my whole life, I've been jealous of one man, one man only: Custer.
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Doreau: Sledge! Now our orders were very specific. We are not to touch him.
Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
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Trunk: Hammer, you weren't supposed to bring him in. You were supposed to call that number. Why didn't you call that number?
Hammer: I didn't have twenty cents.
Trunk: It's toll free... tortoise-brain!
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Gun: Trust me. You know what you're doing.
Hammer: You talking to me?
Gun: That's right, amigo. I'm talking to you.
Hammer: You talking to me?
Gun: Read my lips. Yeah, I'm talking to you.
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Hammer: Now, this is my kind of disease!
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Trunk: From our house...
Doreau: ... to your house...
Trunk, Doreau, and Hammer: Happy holidays!
Hammer: And if you're having one for the road, make sure it's a car. (awkward pause) And a happy new year!
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Hammer: Oooohhh! Oh, no! Oh, boy! Oh, ho! Oh, I didn't. Oh, I, oh! oh boy! Oh, ha ha ha! I mean, I don't know where my head is at.
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Hammer: Rock. I'm going to get to the bottom of this, Doreau, and you know why? Because this whole rock scene makes me puke. You know what's responsible for the moral degeneration of our American youth? Rock. Crime in the streets? Rock. You look under any rock. You know what you find? Rock.
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Hammer: That satanic noise you pawn off as music feeds on the minds of our young people, causing them to grow their hair long, and smoke funny cigarettes, and then cut school, and stay home all day watching that... that NBC.
Doreau: MTV.
Hammer: Don't confuse me!
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Hammer: Now listen up, you dirty, filthy, foul-mouthed scum.
Zippy: Hey, you ever thought about writing lyrics?
Hammer: Yeah, how's this? I'm tired of your degenerate fun, so you better tell me what you've done, or I'll blow you away with my gun.
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Hammer: Hey, I risk my life every night of my life, rain or shine. That's risk-taking.
Doreau: Being a cop?
Hammer: No, eating those pork nuggets. You don't know what's in those things...
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Trunk: I don't care if you get a note from Dr. Jonas Salk! I want you at your desk, for once!
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Doreau: How'd your hair get so dry?
Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
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Hammer: The last time I posed as a newlywed, it was a disaster.
Doreau: When was that?
Hammer: My honeymoon.
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Hammer: Oh, gag me with a nightstick, Doreau. You know what marriage is? It's driving the wrong way down a one-way street and having a head-on collision with a dumptruck called your wife.
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Hammer: Trust me. I almost know what I'm doing.
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Hammer: Trust me. I know what I'm doing.
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Doreau: You should be celebrating.
Hammer: Celebrating? Now why didn't I think of that? Oh, that's right. 'Cause I don't feel like celebrating!
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Hammer: Well, amigo, it's just you and me, huh? You'll never leave me. You're all I got.
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Hammer: Will you marry me?
Doreau: (giggles) Are you s... serious?
Hammer: No.
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