Technical Information

First Broadcast: Thursday, September 17, 1987, 8:00 PM

Production Code:

Number of bullets fired by Sledge: 1

Critical Info

TV Guide summary: The trigger-happy Hammer opens a second season very much alive and kicking in a sendup of "Max Headroom," wherein a demented TV programmer schemes to brainwash witnesses in the trial of a notorious mobster.

Ph episode rating on the Hammer scale (1 to 6 bullets): 5. A witty beginning to the second season, reflecting the transition from slapstick to more sarcasm and cynicism.

Episode references:

• Max Headroom (TV series)
• A Clockwork Orange (novel, movie)

Opening Credits

Produced by Thomas Kane
Supervising Producer: Ron Friedman
Executive Producer: Alan Spencer

Guest Stars:

• Nicholas Guest (as Smartikoff)
• Sal Viscuso
• Dan Lauria (as Raker)
• Ken Letner (as Theiss)
• Eugene Robert Glazer
• Leslie Morris (as Officer Mayjoy)

Created by Alan Spencer
Teleplay by Chris Ruppenthal
Story by Alan Spencer
Directed by Reza Badiyi

Intro

Before the opening credits, an announcer introduces the scene that ended the first season. [The Spa Who Loved Me]

Announcer: Last on Sledge Hammer!...
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After the nuclear explosion, the announcer gives the world's cheesiest resolution of a season-ending cliffhanger.

Announcer: The following season of Sledge Hammer! takes place five years before that nuclear explosion. Thank you.
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The opening credits parenthetically indicate that this episode is part of Sledge's early years.

Act One

Police Detective Chris Raker takes the stand against reputed crime boss Johnny "Red Shoes" Haggis (sp?), who is accused of playing a role in the murder of district attorney D. A. Burnem (sp?). When the prosecuting attorney asks him what he saw on the night of June 20th, Raker begins to stutter and reach for his ear. His head is ringing, and we see images of explosions in his head. When an agitated Raker then claims that he doesn't know what happened, the defendant and his attorney smile.

When further pressed to recall, Raker becomes irritated and grabs the prosecuting attorney, insisting that he doesn't remember.. The judge calls for order, and Raker has to be escorted out of the courtroom by two baliffs.

With a newspaper, Hammer comes into work disgusted that the policeman's field day has been cancelled. Doreau thought he was upset about Detective Raker, who Hammer always liked as being tough and "good with his fists". When Doreau informs him that Raker cracked on the stand, Hammer predictably calls him a wimp.

Trunk, who has been like a father to the dedicated Raker, sits puzzled and upset in his office. Doreau and Hammer go over to console him. When Trunk calls this the worst day of his life, Hammer reminds him about the day he joined the police force. When Hammer tries to explain that it was obvious that Raker was paid off, Trunk angrily grabs Hammer for insulting Raker's integrity.

At Vile Video Concepts, Haggis's attorney speaks with Smartikoff, the brash, geeky head of VVC.

His name is an obvious dig at Brandon Tartikoff, director of NBC programming at the time.

Smartikoff: I started VVC after the network forced me out of programming. They said my ideas were too high-concept. (laughs) You tell me. What's wrong with an alien puppet living with a suburban family? Okay! It's stupid, but what's wrong with it? [a reference to ALF]

Smartikoff goes on to describe the "nerve center" of his "reality reprogramming" operation. Through video monitors, he introduces the latest in mind control technology, thought conrol through television.

Smartikoff: I could start a fourth network just like this. (snaps fingers)
Attorney: There already is a fourth network.
Smartikoff: That's a network? [a jab at FOX]
Attorney: (laughs) I see your point.

Haggis's attorney then pays $500,000 to Smartikoff, saying that his process worked well on Raker. Haggis couldn't be happier. As Smartikoff continues to preach about the power of TV, the disinterested attorney tries to leave.

Smartikoff: But this is only the beginning. I've devoted my whole life to TV. Man has only begun to scratch the tip of the iceberg of the video age.
Attorney: Look, I'm really not into television. I only watch PBS and Nightline.
Smartikoff: But someday you'll really be into television because it will rule your life. Man will never have to leave his couch. You will even travel to foreign lands by TV.
Attorney: Actually, I enjoy flying.
Smartikoff: Ultimately, man and TV will combine to form a newer, higher being. Yes, a super race! Smarter, brighter, new and improved. And it will all start here with those who watch it. Yes, the rulers of tomorrow sit in front of the TV today.
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Cut to a scene of Hammer in front of his TV watching The Cosby Show.

Hammer: Ohhh, another new sweater? C'mon, Theo.

Raker visits Hammer at his apartment, saying he had to talk to somebody.

Hammer: Yeah, well don't confess. (slams door after Raker enters) Let me beat it out of you.
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Raker denies taking a bribe. He tells Hammer of the noise and how he couldn't remember anything. Raker says he needs Hammer's help, so Sledge first helps him quit smoking by not letting him light up a cigarette at his place. Raker also reveals he's been having terrible nightmares revolving around a white room. When Hammer insists he try harder at remembering, Raker goes crazy trying to get rid of the ringing sound, smashing a vase on his head.

Hammer: Oooh, nicotine withdrawal is a real bummer, isn't it?

Raker calls for Hammer to hit him, so Hammer happily clubs him with a chair, then a coat rack.

Hammer: Boy, you can come over here anytime.

The crazed Raker then punches Hammer and drives him into his stove. When Hammer manages to get up, he knocks Raker out by smashing his head with two pot covers.

Act Two

Doreau and Hammer talk as Raker is wheeled out on a stretcher. Hammer tells her of how a shaken Raker walked in ranting and raving about noise and nightmares. Doreau inquires further about the nightmares, and Hammer recalls Raker saying something about a white room.

Back at the precinct, Doreau searches for "white room" articles.

Doreau: Look -- another article.
Hammer: Now what magazine is this from?
Doreau: Reader's Digest.
Hammer: Oh. Well, [you] can't get more authoritative than that.

The article reads "...Already advertising agencies have expressed an interest in mind control techniques such as the KGB's white room process."

Doreau: Oh, Sledge, you don't honestly believe that the networks are trying to turn people into mindless automatons, do you?
Hammer: Haven't you ever seen Matlock?

Hammer and Doreau then conclude that Raker was brainwashed and programmed to forget and break down every time he tried to remember anything about Johnny "Red Shoes" Haggis.

The two approach Trunk with a plan to entrap the brainwashers. They suggest that Trunk spread the word that Hammer will testify tomorrow with new information that will convict Haggis.

Trunk: Hammer, that will never work.
Hammer: Yes, it will. We'll get a woman to start the rumor. Want to do it, Doreau? (looks at a disapproving Doreau) Well, we'll get somebody else.

When Hammer explains that the guy that got to Raker will try to get to him, Trunk warms up to Sledge's plan.

Trunk: Put that network in the dumper.
Hammer: I already did last year. (pained expression from Trunk and Doreau)

Hammer and Doreau return to his apartment.

TV News Anchor: And this just in... Inspector Sledge Hammer will testify tomorrow in the trial with new information that will, according to Hammer, "put that scum-sucking leech into the slammer for so long by the time he gets out, he'll be dead".

When Doreau offers to back him up, Hammer tells her to leave since he doesn't need her. Doreau expresses disappointment over Hammer's inability to show emotion or admit the need for help.

Sledge goes to sleep with his gun on the pillow to his left as usual. At 1:17am, two armed men in orange VVC uniforms break in. Hammer is awakened but pretends to be sleeping. They spray Hammer with chloroform, turn on the lights, and carry him out.

At VVC, Hammer sits in the white room. Haggis' attorney is frustrated that nothing is happening to him. Smartikoff is also puzzled but tells his technicians to go to "level 3". In this "brainwaxing", a female voice recites drivel such as "dishwashing liquid... toilet paper... TV dinners... soap... trash bags... deoderant... breakfast cereal" with the appropriate images. It only puts Hammer to sleep though, as he snores loudly when Smartikoff tries to command him.

Upon being awakened by a technician, Hammer tells his mom he'll take out the garbage. Smartikoff proceeds to "level 4" where he associates scenes of extreme violence with a command to forget a certain topic. The attorney complains that they are running out of time. Unfortunately, Hammer enjoys and cheers at images of "every form of violence known to man": boxing, explosions, football, vehicle crashes, the rodeo. Smartikoff stops the process.

Hammer: Hey, hey, hey what are you doing? It was just getting good. You know, you guys should release this on cassette. You'd make a fortune.
Smartikoff: That will be enough, Inspector Hammer.
Hammer: Could you at least make me a copy? VHS?

The attorney is losing his patience, and Smartikoff does not know what to do.

Hammer: Forget it. You guys can't scare me. You can turn my stomach, but you can't scare me. I'm a brick wall. The only guy who can reach me is me, and I'm on my side.

From this, Smartikoff gets the idea to reach him through his subconscious, though himself. He orders his technicians to begin the "facial topograhy sequence" and to convert his voice to Hammer's.

The new stuttering, computer-generated image is a cross between Max Headroom and Hammer. Through the self-image, Smartikoff begins talking to Hammer.

Hammer image: (talking to Hammer) Well, Sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-sl-sledge-a-roo. This is a fine mess you've gotten us into.
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While Hammer offers resistance, Sledge then repeats his orders to forget about Haggis. Smartikoff programs Hammer to become agitated when pressed. When further pressed, Hammer is to draw his gun and kill the DA (district attorney). Finally, Sledge repeats the instruction to wake up refreshed.

In the courtroom, Hammer is on the stand.

Prosecutor: Inspector Hammer, would you tell the court what you remember?
Hammer: Well, I was born a white, middle-class child. I lived...
Prosecutor: (interrupting) No, no, Inspector. About Johnny "Red Shoes" Haggis.

Hammer stumbles through his words and acts as if his head hurts.

When pressed, he complains about the noise belligerently answers that he doesn't remember. The screaming Hammer gets up, violently shakes the prosector, and then pulls his gun on the defense attorney.

Defense attorney: No, you goofball cop. You're supposed to shoot the DA, not me!

When the attorney realizes his gaffe, Hammer then calls for the baliff to arrest them. The attorney then pulls out a gun from his briefcase, but Hammer manages to shoot first. [gunshot 1]

Hammer's shot deflects the attorney's gun, which then accidently shoots off the toe of Johnny's right red shoe. In pain, a screaming Haggis is led away.

Doreau: Well, it looks like justice was served.
Hammer: It sure was. Those were the ugliest shoes I've ever seen.
Trunk: Hammer, what happened? Didn't they try to brainwash you?
Hammer: That's right, Captain. They did. They tried to play on my subconscious, but they forgot one important thing.
Trunk: What's that?
Hammer: I don't have a subconsious.

Tag

In Trunk's office, Trunk is amazed that Hammer could stand up to their brainwashing tactics. Hammer explains that he just thought about one thing.

Hammer: Well, who's always close to my side? Someone I'm afraid I've been neglecting lately. Someone for whom I've never really been able to express my true feeling. Someone beautiful, sleek, attractive. I think it's obvious who I'm talking about.
Doreau: (embarassed) Oh, Sledge, stop.
Hammer: (pulls out gun) My gun.
Trunk: Hammer, you are truly sensitive guy.
Hammer: Thank you. I never thought you'd notice.

Closing Credits

Associate Producer: Robert Ewing
Creative Consultant: Leonard B. Stern
Executive Story Editors: Mert Rich & Brian Pollack
Story Editors: Mark Curtiss & Rod Ash
Story Editor: Chris Ruppenthal
Featuring: Dorothy Dells, John Zenda, Beverly Leech, Gary Owens
Co-Producer: Jim Ragan
Director of Photography: Chuck Colwell
Music Composed by Lance Rubin
Theme by Danny Elfman
Unit Production Manager: Jim Ragan
1st Assistant Director: Candace Allen
2nd Assistant Director: Nancy King
Film Editor: Briana London, Fabien Tordjmann
Art Director: Gregory Melton
Construction Coordinator: Raymond Camaioni
Property Master: Christopher Amy
Location Manager: Anthony Saenz
Stunt Coordinator: Ed Ulrich
Sound: Tom Koester
Camera Operator: Tony Baggott
Key Grip: Dylan Shephard
Gaffer: Walter Stewart
Make-Up Artist: June Rudley Brickman
Hair Stylist: Robert Hallowell
Costume Designer: Rona Lamont
Script Supervisor: Anne Warner
Transportation Coordinator: Eddie Lee Voelker
Special Effects: Chuck Dolan
Casting: Cathy Henderson (C.S.A.), Barbara Hanley (C.S.A.)
Assistant to Alan Spencer: Tracy Yeager, Sherry Gamlin
Assistant to Thomas Kane: Nancy Edwards
Production Coordinator: Bonnie Jordan
Production Auditor: Erica Fox

Electronic Laboratory: Pacific Video
Post-Production Sound: West Productions, Inc.
Alan Spencer Productions in association with New World Television